Make no mistake, friends. I experienced an ordeal.
Warren peed on the carpet. But before you go thinking of the normal accidental occurrence you can expect with children in your home, let me explain. It was much worse.
First off, I didn’t realize for days. Warren often closes his door when he goes to school lest Madeline sneaks off with a precious Lego piece. And our busy life has reached the point of insanity–the bedtime routine, one of the few times we’re all in his bedroom, has dwindled down to less than 5 minutes. So, in my defense, it’s not too difficult to see why I didn’t really notice before.
By the middle of the second week of kindergarten the smell hit me like a brick. I opened his room to put something away while he was gone and walked into what I thought could only be a hamster cage.
Please, for a moment, imagine me crawling on my hands and knees sniffing around his entire room to find the source. Pulled back the sheets. Nothing. Stripped them and stuck them in the wash anyway. Checked the already stinky hand-me-down play kitchen to see if someone (i.e. Maddie) left some real food item to die. Nope.
That night we finally took the time to have a proper going to sleep routine and the smell was pungent.
“Can you smell that, Colin?” I asked with disdain. “I swear it smells like pee in this room!”
“Yeah, that’s because I peed right over there,” Warren said with an air of normalcy.
“Son, why didn’t you tell us?” I implored.
Head down, his shoulders shrugged to let us know that he really had no idea what he was doing. His motives were beyond him. Consequent interrogation yielded even less information. How often? Which days? How much pee? All we could gather was it was more than twice. And he answered, saying, My name is Legion: for we are many…
I couldn’t believe it!
Stress, boredom, laziness, all of the above resulted in who knows how many days of urine pooling in the carpet and carpet padding by his closet.
I don’t know what was worse, that he secretly did it without telling us or that I didn’t even notice the smell for several days.
As only an amateur would do, I ran to the cleaning cabinet and sprayed stain remover over the spot I believed to be the origin. I vacuumed it up and hoped for the best. Failed attempt #1.
It was too far gone for the baking soda method. I had to go for the big guns and borrowed a wet vac from a friend. For the next FIVE DAYS I used the following method to remove what I could: spray with vinegar, let soak in, wet vac the moisture, spray with an OxiClean/nice smelling soap (ammonia-free)/water mixture, let soak in, and wet vac the moisture out. Repeat over and over and over again.
Thankfully, the smell is pretty much gone.
By the end of it all I was exhausted, irritated, and paranoid. I kept smelling ghost urine smells everywhere I went. I worried that there were other spots around the house that I was just waiting to discover. I felt like I couldn’t trust him to be alone in his room for fear of other acts of mayhem.
Warren is a sweet boy. He is conscientious and helpful. He is honest and thoughtful. He is also tender and full of emotion. Kindergarten has been a big change. He absolutely loves school, and is doing really well there, but it’s still big.
I don’t think anything like this will ever happen again, at least not with this particular bodily fluid. But I’m going to be more on guard from now on. If nothing else, to help him get through whatever ails him before it manifests in such a messy way.
- Carpet and children do not mix. If this were my own purchased home (and I actually had the funds to do so after purchasing it) I would rip all the blasted stuff out.
- Never underestimate the potential children (especially boys) have in releasing stress. Even when they seem well-adjusted, there are usually triggers that can max them out.
- If you have carpet, and you care about removing disgusting, vile, putrid smells, invest in a wet/dry vacuum. Or at least become good friends with someone who owns one.
- I love OxiClean. Buy the Costco size. You won’t regret it.
Any ordeals you’d like to share to cheer me up?