Yesterday, I was completely dejected.
Maddie is still tachycardic (in a JET rhythm), she may need a permanent pacemaker, is still draining quite a bit from her chest, and has been resistant to anything improving her mood. No toys, games, shows, movies, interactions, not anything has put even a smile on that girl’s face. In short, she was depressed and has been since she woke up from her surgery twelve days ago. It was almost as if she was choosing to be unhappy. Recovery has taken it’s toll on this silly, feisty girl.
Watching your child suffer from pain is unbearable. Watching your child sink into depression is almost worse.
And then a miracle happened. I came to the hospital today to switch Colin and as I pulled into the parking lot, he sent me this picture:
Maddie was laughing. Not just a little either.
This image. This image brings me more joy than I can express! My prayers have been that she could find peace and comfort during this process. I feel like those prayers have been answered.
Today, I am grateful. I’m grateful for a nurse that could find ways to interact with Maddie to elicit smiles and laughter. I’m grateful for family members that visit and call regularly to cheer her up. I’m grateful for friends that support us in numerous ways. I’m grateful for a little girl who fights and doesn’t give up.
She’s still tachycardic. She’s still in the ICU. She still has a long way to go. But today I am focusing on the good.
And this smile is good enough for me.