The subject of adoption is near and dear to our hearts. It’s the way we grow our family. Though an oftentimes painful and stressful process, we wouldn’t change our experience or the lessons we’ve learned for anything.
Our first adoption took place through our church‘s social services program, LDS Family Services. The experience was both joyful and heartbreaking, moving and faith-building. The moment our little son was placed in our arms we were in love. We were grateful for a relatively easy adoption finalization of just 3 months.
We took a different road with our second adoption, that of fostering to adopt. Babies who are already born and in the foster care system are placed with families who are willing to care for them during a period of time when the outcome is unknown. We took it a step further by becoming involved with a non-profit organization called Angels Foster Care of Santa Barbara. This liaison organization helps families wade through the quagmire that is the foster system and lends support as needed. Our little angel girl was placed with us because of her extensive health problems— it was clear she needed a stable home with two parents to care for her many needs. Though it felt like an eternity, the nature of her case–with her medically fragile condition–allowed a speedier legal process than most experience, just over a year.
December of 2010 we received a phone call from Angels asking if we would be willing to take 2.5 month-old twin boys. We could hardly say no! Again we started down that foster-to-adopt road where expectations are futile and information is hard to come by. But in the scheme of things, we didn’t have to wait that long. In March of 2012, we finalized the adoption of these precious boys. We are over the moon.
I don’t know what it’s like to grow a child for 9 months, or to experience the pains of labor, or to see their little bodies placed on my stomach fresh from the womb. But I do know what it’s like to instantly love a child and call him or her my own. I know the pains of doubt in giving all that love to an infant in need, not knowing if I will one day have to say goodbye. And I know what it’s like to see the face of a baby who needs a mom and a dad who will unconditionally love her and care for her no matter the circumstances.
I am grateful for this path that we have chosen. Adoption is hard. It is uncomfortable, at times. It is messy. But it is also a miracle and a great act of selflessness by those who willingly choose it.
We believe in adoption advocacy and enjoy talking to people about our experiences. Please feel free to ask questions anytime.