Bone tired. I suppose that’s the best way to describe how I’m feeling today. I’ve run two half-marathons, two gnarly 5-mile trail runs, plus a handful of sprint races but all of them together don’t combine to equal the feeling of exhaustion I have right now. Colin feels the same.
And we’re not even the ones healing from the surgery.
Yesterday, Maddie finally got her chocolate milk, guzzled it despite our pleas to take it slowly, and promptly puked it all up. She was feisty and angry about everything but the nurses were patient and tried to move her along. The sooner she can check off things like eating, sitting up, coughing, and eliminations the sooner she can go home.
And that’s all that she wants.
Today, she is really feeling down. She is completely homesick. She is eating a little but still feels nauseated. She’s urinating but having trouble with the other process. She’s sitting a bit more but is resisting the urge to cough when she feels the fluid in her chest. Thankfully, she is resting peacefully most of the time but it’s like this situation is beating her. She’s lost her spunk and fire.
All three brothers came to visit today and though she was anxious to see them, she barely interacted as they took turns with her in the ICU room. They left her with cards Warren’s classmates made for her at school and a stuffed seal (a gift from Colin’s co-worker) that she can hug tightly whenever she misses them, which is often.
They miss her greatly too. The boys have a stuffed unicorn they can hug which my friend Bethany gave them. Warren sleeps with it at night.
This recovery is hard on everyone.
Over and over again we have been blessed by the support of friends, family, even kind strangers. So many people are going out of their way to help us. We feel every prayer, every kind act lift our spirits. This is a giant trial to experience, especially for our young children, but we’re not giving up hope for a speedy recovery.
We’re not letting Maddie give up either.
There may be many walls to climb before it’s over, but we know she can do it. She says she’s going home on Tuesday. Goals keep you motivated. One step at a time, baby girl.