Colin and I celebrated our 14th wedding anniversary.
This picture sums it up perfectly. The two of us, facing the world together with a smile. Or a smirk, as the case may be. (Our best attempt at Zoolander’s “Magnum.”)
I love this man. I love the life we share. It’s perfectly imperfect, full of mayhem and disappointments, dedication and love. And best of all, it’s full of laughter.
Happy anniversary, Colin. There’s no one I’d rather spend my days with than you.
I don’t really know how we stumbled on it but Maddie and I have become quite fond of watching Everyday Food with Sarah Carey cooking videos. It was probably because I was looking up some recipe and Maddie spied the video icon while glancing over my shoulder. The girl cannot resist media in any form. She begged to watch one and one turned into three and three into six.
Pretty soon we’d seen nearly all of the recipe demos. But that doesn’t stop Maddie from asking for more almost daily. I don’t mind, though. I enjoy Sarah’s style, she’s quirky and fun, and I find her recipes quite tasty. I’ve made several after seeing them on the screen. Our favorite has been the Bacon and Escarole Pizza. Oh, mama! Bacon? On pizza? Yes, please! Other goodies are the Vegetable and Tofu Pad Thai, the Beef Skewers with Scallions, and the Croque Madame Sandwiches.
Many times, after we’ve watched one together, we’ll head over to our kitchen and try an easy one out or just make an old stand by that we love. Usually a cookie one because who can resist making cookies, really?
I love this little pastime we’ve started together.
Colin’s brother, Jared, and his wife, Laura, just had their third girl by C-Section. Last year, when I had my surgery they came out to help me recover. When we learned they were expecting, we knew we wanted to return the favor. So Colin and I planned a time when I could go out there for a whole week which, of course, meant that he’d have to be home with our own children for that week while I was gone. Here is the She Said/He Said debriefing of that week…
{Jeannie’s Week}
Although, admittedly, it is a fair amount of effort to care for other people’s children, or cook in a kitchen that’s not your own, it was an enjoyable adventure. I got to read the entire way on the plane, uninterrupted. I saw some snow. And most importantly, I got to spend some quality time with my adorable nieces, playing games and listening to as well as telling stories (Evelyn, at 5, is a master storyteller and enjoys hearing a good tale as well), and hang out with Laura, picking her brain about interior design as I continue planning to reform the Pig House, and comparing favorite recipes. I missed my family terribly, but the week flew by and Colin sent me several texts and emails with funny kid antics. I was so glad to be there to help with Laura’s recovery. Jared and Laura are amazing and we’re biding our time for the day when they move back to the west coast, hopefully to Seattle.
{Colin’s Week}
Survival mode.
This was a talk about service I gave in Sacrament Meeting on December 9, 2012. Colin and I both spoke this day. You can find his talk here.
Brother Rigby caught me off guard when, mistaking his friendly handshake as nothing more than an act of fellowship while leaving the chapel, he asked if I’d be willing to speak in Sacrament Meeting. Seeing as we’re still new to the ward, I didn’t have the sense to avoid eye contact on his approach. However, I am glad that he asked because (and don’t most of us feel this way when we’re preparing a talk?) I really needed to ponder my feelings about the topic I was assigned.
Service. It’s such a broad subject, I didn’t know where to begin. Who to serve? How to serve? What does “service” mean? But I’ve decided to touch on three parts: 1) Moving beyond sympathy for others into action, 2) Committing to find opportunities to serve on a daily basis, and 3) Teaching our children to value serving others.
Busy. That is the single word I would use to describe my life. I am the mom of four children under the age of eight, which includes twin 2-year-old boys. There is no doubt that my life right now is one foot in the door of Chaos. Just the day-to-day living is jam-packed with diapers, and cleaning, and cooking, and laughing, and whining, and driving to school, and peanut butter hands… Sometimes, I consider it a miracle that everyone makes it through the day dressed and fed. It is no wonder that when I consider the three aspects of charity (giving of time, of talents, and of things), giving my time in service seems like the weak link in the chain.
But as I look around the congregation, I see that my station in life is not unique. Not in the least, actually! Most of you are currently in the same phase or have recently come out of it. So, holding on to that excuse as a means of diluting my service no longer seems legitimate.
Yes, it’s true that serving my family is my number one calling at this time. I feel comfortable maintaining that as my first and foremost responsibility. “There is a time and a season for all things” is one of my favorite phrases, but I realize that I must be careful to not use it as a blanket excuse not to actively seek out opportunities for service.
Confessions from the pulpit: I have not made serving others outside of my home a big enough responsibility. However, I have covenanted to do so. “Saints are uniquely committed to sacrifice. In partaking of the sacrament each week, we witness our commitment to serve the Lord and our fellowmen. In sacred temple ceremonies we covenant to sacrifice and consecrate our time and talents for the welfare of others.” (Dallin H. Oaks, “Unselfish Service,” April 2009) Putting aside my family responsibilities, my church callings and assignments, there is more that I can do. It is not enough just to have the desire.
President Thomas S. Monson speaks to this very issue in a Conference talk entitled “What Have I Done for Someone Today?” He says, “I am confident it is the intention of each member of the Church to serve and to help those in need. At baptism we covenanted to “bear one another’s burdens, that they may be light.” How many times has your heart been touched as you have witnessed the need of another? How often have you intended to be the one to help? And yet how often has day-to-day living interfered and you’ve left it for others to help, feeling that “oh, surely someone will take care of that need.” (Thomas S. Monson, “What Have I Done for Someone Today?”, November 2009) I need to do more than just intend.
Luke 9:24 says, “For whosoever will save his life shall lose it: but whosoever will lose his life for my sake, the same shall save it.” Serve the Lord by serving others. Give him your life. I am falling short.
Turn sympathy into action.
I’d like to think of myself as a sympathetic and compassionate person, but I’ve struggled to channel that into something productive. And though by no means are we rich, it is always much easier for me to give some thing as opposed to some of my time. However, I know that we are instruments in the hands of God. He needs us to carry out his purposes and bless others. Either we can assist him or we can miss out on witnessing His work come to pass. How good does it feel when we carry out an act of service for someone else? Sometimes it’s hard to differentiate who receives the greater blessing: the one serving or the recipient of the service.
President Eyring’s talk, “Opportunities to Do Good,” explains how to act on the compassion we experience.
“Our Heavenly Father hears the prayers of His children across the earth pleading for food to eat, for clothes to cover their bodies, and for the dignity that would come from being able to provide for themselves. Those pleas have reached Him since He placed men and women on the earth.
“You learn of those needs where you live and from across the world. Your heart is often stirred with feelings of sympathy. When you meet someone struggling to find employment, you feel that desire to help. You feel it when you go into the home of a widow and see that she has no food. You feel it when you see photographs of crying children sitting in the ruins of their home destroyed by an earthquake or by fire.
“Because the Lord hears their cries and feels your deep compassion for them, He has from the beginning of time provided ways for His disciples to help. He has invited His children to consecrate their time, their means, and themselves to join with Him in serving others.” (Henry B. Erying, “Opportunities to do Good,” April 2011)
Allow the Lord to use those feelings to teach you how to help. President Eyring said, “[The] 1,500 or more Church member volunteers in Australia who came to help and to comfort [the flooding victims in Queensland] turned their feelings of sympathy into a decision to act on their covenants. I have seen the blessings that come to the person in need who receives help and to the person who seizes the opportunity to give it.” (Henry B. Erying, “Opportunities to do Good,” April 2011)
Find opportunities to serve on a daily basis.
The general Relief Society President, Linda K. Burton, gave a fantastic talk this last General Conference called “First Observe, Then Serve.” The title alone is wisdom enough. If we only look around, even in our own sphere of influence, we can see that there are ways that we can help others. She relayed an experience where a six-year-old Primary child made a difference. He said:
“When I was chosen to be a class helper, I could choose a friend to work with me. I picked [a boy in my class who bullied me] because he never gets chosen by others. I wanted to make him feel good.”
What did this child observe? He noticed that the class bully never got chosen. What did he do to serve? He simply chose him to be his friend as a class helper.” (Linda K. Burton, “First Observe, Then Serve,” October 2012)
Simple ways that only require us to pay attention to others. Often, they don’t require much time at all.
We can also pray for experiences to be shown to us. I’m sure many of us can think of a time when we’ve asked the Lord to open our hearts to opportunities to bless others only to have the Spirit guide us to make a phone call, or send a letter, or stop by someone’s house with a plate of cookies just when needed.
Above all, we need to be kind. Sister Burton said, “We are surrounded by those in need of our attention, our encouragement, our support, our comfort, our kindness. … We are the Lord’s hands here upon the earth, with the mandate to serve and to lift His children. He is dependent upon each of us.” (Linda K. Burton, “First Observe, Then Serve,” October 2012) Smile at others, even if they are strangers. Help someone feel valued. Include others that may not feel welcome. All of these are simple ways to lift burdens and show Christlike love.
Sometimes, I get ahead of myself and fixate on the great needs of the world. I’m sure you all could think of at least one organization or group or even individual which exudes charity and service. I’ve had the privilege of working with one such organization that was actually started by a member of the Santa Barbara Stake called Angels Foster Care of Santa Barbara. It is through her work that we have three of our precious children. Another amazing group I personally know feeds the homeless in Salt Lake City. It was started by my “second family,” the mother and two sisters of my best childhood friend. Soul Food USA takes food that they’ve lovingly prepared to a shelter every month, all of it started because they simply saw a need and acted upon it. I find myself wishing I could do something grand like that. And then the guilt creeps in. But I’ve reminded myself that I can help in other ways that are also important, just on a different scale. Sometimes we feel that we don’t have much to offer. Maybe we feel like our talents won’t be enough to bless others. President Eyring said this: “God knows our gifts. My challenge to you and to me is to pray to know the gifts we have been given, to know how to develop them, and to recognize the opportunities to serve others that God provides us.” (Henry B. Eyring, “Help Them Aim High,” October 2012)
In January of this year I had major surgery that required an 8 week recovery. I couldn’t lift anything over 20 pounds. You can imagine the damper that put on my daily life. My sweet husband saved up enough work leave that he could spend 4 weeks of my recovery at home taking care of the kids, but it was still a burden on the family. This experience required that I receive service from others, something I’ve always struggled accepting. Wonderful friends and Relief Society sisters took turns bringing meals and taking Warren to and from school for several weeks. Individually, they were small acts but combined made a huge difference. I was incredibly grateful for their compassion and service. Elder Oaks reminded us that Mother Teresa, one of the most outstanding examples of selfless service, once said: “We can do no great things,” [she] maintained, “only small things with great love.” (Dallin H. Oaks, “Unselfish Service,” April 2009)
Involve our children in service.
Besides leading by example and providing opportunities for service, explain the principle of service and why we do it. Elder Oaks made it clear, “Our Savior teaches us to follow Him by making the sacrifices necessary to lose ourselves in unselfish service to others.” (Dallin H. Oaks, “Unselfish Service,” April 2009)
Establish a standard for your children. I love this story that President Monson told.
“A few years ago I read an article written by Jack McConnell, MD. He grew up in the hills of southwest Virginia in the United States as one of seven children of a Methodist minister and a stay-at-home mother. Their circumstances were very humble. He recounted that during his childhood, every day as the family sat around the dinner table, his father would ask each one in turn, “And what did you do for someone today?” The children were determined to do a good turn every day so they could report to their father that they had helped someone. Dr. McConnell calls this exercise his father’s most valuable legacy, for that expectation and those words inspired him and his siblings to help others throughout their lives. As they grew and matured, their motivation for providing service changed to an inner desire to help others.” (Thomas S. Monson, “What Have I Done for Someone Today?”, November 2009)
This is a practice we implemented for a time (I’d like to get back into it, actually) and I can testify that it makes a noticeable difference in attitudes.
President Eyring gave an example of what he did with his children to help them understand the importance of being a servant of the Lord, though he stated that no wood carving would actually be necessary for us to follow his lead. He said,
“With my own children, I prayed for revelation to know how I could help each of them individually prepare for specific opportunities to serve God. And then I tried to help them visualize, hope, and work for this future. I carved a board for each son with a quotation from scripture that described his special gifts and an image that represented this gift. Beneath the picture and the legend, I carved the dates of each boy’s baptism and ordination into priesthood offices, with his height marked at the date of each milestone.
“When my daughters were young, I saw that we could help others feel the love of those beyond the veil, throughout the generations. I knew that love comes from service and inspires hope of life eternal.
“So we carved breadboards on which we placed a loaf of homemade bread and went together to deliver our offering to widows, widowers, and families. The legend I carved on each of those breadboards read, “J’aime et J’espere,” French for “I love and I hope.” The evidence of their unique spiritual gifts appeared not just on the boards I carved but more clearly as we distributed them to those who needed, in the midst of pain or loss, reassurance that the love of the Savior and His Atonement could produce a perfect brightness of hope. This is life eternal for my daughters and for each of us.” (Henry B. Eyring, “Help Them Aim High,” October 2012) Not only did he pray to know how to help his children grow as individuals, but he gave them tangible reminders and, more importantly, opportunities to actually serve others.
Many of us may remember the story that President Gordon B. Hinckley told of his days as a new missionary complaining to his family how he felt it was a waste of his time. Then we may also remember how his father wrote back to him in gentle rebuke telling him to forget himself and dive into service. Because of his father’s guidance, later, “Elder Hinckley would say, “He who lives only unto himself withers and dies, while he who forgets himself in the service of others grows and blossoms in this life and in eternity.” (Dallin H. Oaks, “Unselfish Service,” April 2009)
The Christmas Season makes it easy to find ways to uplift, cheer, and help others. It is my prayer that we will all commit to actively seek out opportunities to serve with glad hearts, no matter the time of the year or our station in life.
“As I have loved you, love one another,” the Savior commanded. Let us all be willing to do so in more abundance.
In the name of Jesus Christ, amen.
I have caught the racing bug.
Colin decided that after his Tough Mudder experience he needed another motivator to keep him running. He found a local race that we could do together before Thanksgiving. He invited Tami and Joe to train and run the race, too. We all signed up for the challenge.
What we didn’t realize was how insane the course would be. “Five miles,” you say, “how hard can that be?” When the first mile is straight uphill and full of switchbacks, you’d think again.
The mountain kicked my butt. I foolhardily made the goal to run the whole race without walking. I did no such thing. But although Colin ran the entire 500 feet elevation gain, he also had moments of walking, so I don’t feel so bad. Thank goodness for the downhill portions of the race!
Trail-running is beautiful, though, and I thoroughly enjoyed the surroundings, even though it was quite chilly and a bit drizzly.
It was a great challenge. I’m so glad we did this, tough as it was to complete. We’re going to make it an annual pre-Thanksgiving tradition.
Any locals want to join in?
Halloween is one of my favorite holidays of the year. You can tell by my past posts that I love any excuse to decorate and dress up in something creative.
Life might be hectic right now and we may be in transition, but that didn’t stop us from celebrating right. We put out our favorite decorations:
Played our spooky music playlist:
Everything from “The Nightmare Before Christmas” to several “Harry Potter Soundtrack” pieces from the various movies to a true gem that I found called “Classical Music from the Dark” (49 songs for $2.39 and all without words, as not to get too burned out since we listened to them all day long, over and over again). “Turn on the Halloween songs, please!” was the first thing out of Maddie’s mouth each morning. The kids could not get enough of Thriller, which you can see here, if you want to invest the time:
Little Zombies Dance to Thriller from Jeannie @ Live. Laugh. Learn on Vimeo.
We carved pumpkins picked at a local farm (though my heart ached for our Avila Valley Barn and sunny weather):
No real candles to place inside this year since they’re packed away in some box somewhere between our bedroom and the rented storage unit.
And, of course, there were the costumes:
There is no way we could top the two-headed monster costume Jake and Joey wore last year, but we gave it a shot. Jake was a UPS delivery guy and Joey his little package.
We upped the ante by creating a UPS truck that Colin and I were both supposed to wear but couldn’t because someone had to shepherd the boys around. I ended up being the lone “driver” for the evening. Colin conceived of, designed, and created the truck himself. It turned out even better than the picture shows. Nice work, Colin!
Warren and Maddie had their own gigs as an army guy and Dorothy from The Wizard of Oz, respectively. They’ve never been on board with the family theme idea. All costumes were well-received.
We attended our church’s Trunk or Treat, with games and plenty of treats inside the cultural hall, and trick or treating out in the pouring rain among the cars. Warren went for it, Colin manned our car’s trunk, but I chickened out with the Maddie, Jake, and Joe. I kept them indoors and tried to convince them that eating the two mini chocolates they got before I herded them back inside was the height of the experience. I’m sure I’ll get used to events being soggy but this year was too soon.
On the actual Halloween day we took it easy since a) it was still raining hard and b) the kids were wiped out from returning home so late the night before. We went to the city-sponsored indoor trick or treating event at the town hall. Did they get as much loot as they would have hitting the streets? Probably not. But we were done in an hour and completely dry so don’t judge.
It was another great year of fun traditions. I love this silly, pointless holiday.
Happy Halloween, everyone! Enjoy pilfering your child(ren)’s candy!
It was unintentional, but I took quite a long break from posting on this blog. Nearly four months of our lives have passed without record. Everything from Father’s Day to my birthday to Jake and Joe’s 2nd birthday, make no mistake, we’ve been busy.
With the move to Seattle and the emotionally draining challenge of searching for a home to buy, I’ve had little time or energy to document these events. But I mean to amend that now.
My plan is to go back and postdate our experiences, bit by bit, so that these things aren’t lost. In the meantime, I’ll say that these past few months have been a lesson in walking by faith.
Knowing that we were guided here has made the transition possible but not necessarily easy. Besides missing our old lives and wondering how to fit into our new ones, we’ve had to figure out where exactly in this great city we were supposed to be for the next several years. And if you don’t know what location you want, and you’re searching within a 25 mile radius, it can certainly put a strain on the house-buying process. It has been a trial by fire for us, this real estate business. But that’s a story for a separate post.
Still, as I look back on the last quarter of the year, I can’t help but see how much we’ve been blessed. Yes, we’re still in transition, living in an apartment and surrounded by boxes in our bedroom. Sure, half of my kitchen is still packed away and we have no garage to save us from the rain or yard to escape to in the afternoon (not that the weather would permit it half the time anyway). Even with those challenges, we are happy. A great church community, beautiful parks and lakes, a phenomenal school and teacher for Warren, the ability to purchase a home of our own, all outweigh the stress of our current situation.
So, I officially declare this hiatus over. I’m back in the blogging game. Good or bad, hectic or calm, I hereby commit to keeping current with our lives. Even if our bedroom does look like this:
This too shall pass.
I’m happy to report that I completed my first triathlon and I didn’t keel over. I finished strong, in fact. It was a great feeling.
I finished in 1 hour and 30 minutes. I didn’t run the entire way (the hills were a bit much for me at the end and I did not want to puke) but I jogged across the finish line.
Open swimming in a lake full of people is not what I would call easy. Neither is racing 11 miles on a mountain bike, with grandmas passing you when you’re giving it all you’ve got. But I did it, and that’s all that matters to me.
I’m so thankful that my friend Esther invited me to compete in this race. What a thrill to be able to say I finished.
This won’t be my last.
Note: Colin and the kids didn’t end up coming with me to San Jose. Joey was still sick and spending the night away from home would have been a disaster. So they made me these signs and sent them virtually to cheer me on. It worked.
Being completely healed from surgery, I figured it was high time to get back into the old running game. I hadn’t really exercised in close to a year. Nothing good was coming from that hiatus.
My friend, Esther, asked me if I wanted to participate in a Tri-for-Fun Triathlon race in June. It was the perfect incentive for getting my butt in gear.
It’s low key: 400 meter swim, 11 mile bike ride, 5k run. I’ve been training for over four weeks now, and so far so good. I wish I weren’t such a wannabe huffing and puffing down sidewalks and slowly pedaling along the roads. Even swimming isn’t as easy as it was back on the high school swim team. But I’m still going, so that’s something.
I can do this. My only goal is to complete the thing. That’s it. If I happen to cross the finish line running then more power to me. But I’ll just be glad to finish on two feet and not crawling on hands and knees.
June 16th, here I come.
Any and all triathlon advice is now being accepted.
Last year, after I gave a talk in Sacrament Meeting, Christy suggested that I start posting ones that I’ve recently given as part of documenting my beliefs and testimony here on this blog. I thought it was a brilliant idea. A way to have another record of my spiritual thoughts and feelings for posterity. Thanks for allowing me to indulge.
The bishopric member in charge of scheduling talks called and asked that I would speak on May 13th but what I didn’t think about when I said yes was that it would be on Mother’s Day. I tend to get weepy anyway thinking about my sweet mother and then of being a mother to own my children. But then he said that he wanted me to talk about our experiences with adoption and what the temple sealing means to me and my family. It will be a miracle if I make it through this talk without an entire box of Kleenex.
Thankfully, President Henry B. Eyring gave a fantastic talk about families and temple blessings in the Priesthood Session of this last General Conference, so I’ll be drawing on that for many of my thoughts. So, sisters, if you haven’t had a chance to read it yet, you’ll get a sense of its message here, and brothers, you can really hear it this time if you found yourself napping through it the evening it was first given.
The title of his talk is, “Families under Covenant.” He states “There is nothing that has come or will come into your family as important as the sealing blessings.” (President Henry B. Eyring, “Families under Covenant”, General Conference, Apr. 2012) I believe that is true. It is how we endure trials in this life, knowing that our loved ones that have gone before, and those that will come after, will still be linked to us after this life. It’s what makes us strengthen our families here and now so that we can continue those relationships throughout the eternities. It’s what makes us want to be better parents.
There are two parts to understanding the temple sealing that I want to talk about today: 1) that you believe the power binds families and 2) that you have a role in making that happen.
Realizing the magnitude of the sealing power and the effect on my own family has only been strengthened through our experiences of adopting our four children. Because our children came to us through adoption, we had the opportunity to take each one to the temple, to kneel at the altar with them, and be sealed together through priesthood keys for all eternity. Those of you who had children born to you within your temple marriage covenant knew that you would be blessed with that sealing power from the moment they were born. We, who have had the privilege of growing our families through adoption, are given those very same promises. It just takes a little longer before we’re able to receive them. But I believe there are some beautiful spiritual benefits to this process.
It is a holy experience to see your babies, dressed all in white, gathered around you in the House of the Lord. You feel the truthfulness of Gospel and an opening to heaven. I hope I never forget those feelings of peace and happiness I felt with each sealing.
And our children had the unique opportunity of entering the temple. Warren was able to be with us 3 times: for his own sealing, for Maddie’s, and for Jake and Joey’s. I pray that he and all of them will cling to the memories, however faint, that they have of being in the temple and that those feelings will help them make good choices throughout their lives. That they’ll want to return again to make their own temple covenants.
Whether your children were born to your family in the covenant, or whether you also had the opportunity to have your children sealed to you later in the temple, the knowledge of the temple sealing and faith in its blessings should instill in all of us a greater desire to make good choices.
Indeed, our biggest responsibility is saving our families.
President Boyd K. Packer said, “The ultimate end of all activity in the Church is to see a husband and his wife and their children happy at home, protected by the principles and laws of the gospel, sealed safely in the covenants of the everlasting priesthood. Husbands and wives should understand that their first calling—from which they will never be released—is to one another and then to their children.” (President Boyd K. Packer, “And a Little Child Shall Lead Them”, General Conference, Apr. 2012)
President Eyring said, “Melchizedek Priesthood holders who are fathers in sealed families have been taught what they must do. There is nothing that has come or will come into your family as important as the sealing blessings. There is nothing more important than honoring the marriage and family covenants you have made or will make in the temples of God.” (President Henry B. Eyring, “Families under Covenant”, General Conference, Apr. 2012). I know that the same can be said for mothers.
Talking about a man who had just come back to church, President Eyring described what was necessary for him to receive the temple blessings. “It took faith in Jesus Christ, deep repentance, and a change in his heart…” In truth, that’s what we all need to have in order to enjoy the blessings of the temple.
President Eyring gave specific points that we should follow to ensure that we receive the blessing of an eternal family:
Invite the Holy Ghost as much as you can into your lives and families.
“Gain and keep a sure witness that the keys of the priesthood are with us and held by the President of the Church. Pray for that every day” (Eyring, April 2012).
Our testimonies are not fixed but can ebb and flow depending on the trials and circumstances of our lives. We need to pray for and constantly nourish our testimonies so that we don’t lose sight of our goal.
Second, he says, “husbands you need to love your wife.” And I would add, wives, you need to love your husband. Why would we strive for eternal life with our families and spouses if we don’t love them? Eternity is not in the future. Eternity is now.
“Third,” he says, “enlist the entire family to love each other.” He quotes President Ezra Taft Benson, “In an eternal sense, salvation is a family affair.” Later, President Eyring says, “Another crucial source for that feeling of being loved is love from other children in the family. Consistent care of brothers and sisters for each other will come only with the persistent effort by parents and the help of God.” (Eyring) I see that very clearly in my own family. It pains me to see my children fight or not get along. But part of our jobs as parents is to teach how to be an eternal family. We should nip conflicts in the bud and look for peaceable resolutions. We can be examples of kindness to our children by serving them with love, not just out of duty.
President Eyring taught that the sealing is only complete through the approval of the Holy Ghost, The Holy Spirit of Promise.
He says, “The way to do that is clear. The Holy Spirit of Promise, through our obedience and sacrifice, must seal our temple covenants in order to be realized in the world to come. Elder Melvin J. Ballard said, ‘We may deceive men but we cannot deceive the Holy Ghost, and our blessings will not be eternal unless they are also sealed by the Holy Spirit of Promise. The Holy Ghost is one who reads the thoughts and hearts of men, and gives his sealing approval to the blessings pronounced upon their heads. Then it is binding, efficacious, and of full force.’”
As with many aspects of the Gospel, understanding that promised blessings (even temple blessings) don’t always come when you expect them is an important part of our spiritual growth. Sometimes they don’t come at all in this life, but are given after. But knowing that they do come, in the Lord’s time, is critical to our ability to endure and stay on the strait and narrow path back to God. We must have faith!
I found this to be true in my own life. When Colin and I were married in the Seattle Temple, we were reminded to multiply and replenish the earth. We wanted children and looked forward to that day, but we knew it was not going to be easy. Medical conditions indicated that bearing our children would be complicated, and most likely not even possible. But we decided not to worry. We knew that children would come to our family somehow.
I remember being in the temple when my good friend, Eileen, asked me if I felt sad or disappointed when I heard some of the words of the temple ordinances about posterity, when having children wasn’t happening for us yet. I told her no. I didn’t have to worry. I knew it would happen. My patriarchal blessing said I would have children. I just didn’t know when.
But we knew that Heavenly Father had a plan for us to be parents. A couple of years into our marriage, we felt impressed to adopt. It was after a combined Relief Society/Priesthood lesson on LDS Family Services and adoption that Colin and I looked at each other and just knew. That was the road we would take. It was a long and sometimes painful road, but we endured.
I remember times throughout the adoption process (with all our children but especially with Maddie because of her heart surgery) wishing that we had that comforting knowledge that they were tied to us forever. Without it, I worried more about mortality and what would happen to our family, to our children not yet legally adopted. When each adoption was finalized and we could take them to the temple, I felt a tremendous amount of peace. As President Eyring said, “…joy came from a feeling that connections with [family] are sure because you are or can be bound to them by priesthood ordinances that God will honor” (Eyring, April 2012). Having that temple ordinance complete for each of our children brings me such peace, knowing that I can handle the trials that may come that would part us from one another in this earth life. Death does not seem as debilitating to me now that all of our children are sealed to us.
I also realize that some of us may have heavy hearts thinking about the temple, and sealing, and eternal families because we have not received some of these blessings (children, marriage, etc.), or we have spouses or children who are not members or have not stayed active in the church. I have that same heartache knowing that my father is not a member of the church and that Colin’s parents have recently divorced. It’s painful thinking that these sealing blessings seem far from our grasp.
But there is always hope. We can cling to the examples from the Book of Mormon that President Eyring reminded us. He said,
“The success [that righteous Lehi and his wife, Sariah] won provide a guide for us. They taught the gospel of Jesus Christ so well and so persistently that children and even some descendants over generations had hearts softened toward God and toward each other. For instance, Nephi and others wrote and reached out to family members who had been their enemies. The Spirit at times softened the hearts of thousands and replaced hatred with love.” Don’t ever give up!
We can only change our own hearts. We can only gain our own testimonies. We must pray and study continually so that we can be strong links in our family chain.
In the end, it is our own actions that will make the difference. In speaking about leading our families in love and righteousness, President Eyring says, “That is a high standard for us, but when we, with faith, control our tempers and subdue our pride, the Holy Ghost gives His approval, and sacred promises and covenants become sure” (Eyring, April 2012).
I am incredibly grateful for the sealing power on the earth today. To me, the adoption was really complete when we knelt at the altar of the temple with each precious child. I know that by working together as a family, we can enjoy the blessings of the temple sealing right now, as well as throughout the eternities.
In the name of Jesus Christ, amen.